I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
