I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
