This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
love makes seman taste better
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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