did you get engaged???
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
