cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
