Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
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