He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Randomize
