I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
