i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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