I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
