I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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