i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
