he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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