turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
