Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
