Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
