I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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