Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
