HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
