If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
