Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
