you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
