what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
