Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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