I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize