??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
