..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You dont lie about slip and slides
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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