i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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