Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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