i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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