Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize