Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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