# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
