You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I supernannyed him into submission
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
