One girl and one boy is just not enough.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Randomize
