So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
