I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
