I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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