who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
