either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
