And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
