Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Randomize
