I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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