So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
