My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
