i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
