I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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