I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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