just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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