The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
