living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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