some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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