you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
