new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize