During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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