just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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