I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
