forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
3 2 1 whiskey
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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