first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Less talking, more tequila
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
