From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
