question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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