It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
