Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
