is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Its about making memories worth repressing
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
This is the high leading the old right now
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
