5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
