I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
